My dad, Richard Holms was adopted by The Holms' when he was five years old. He did not know who his biological parents were until he was 42 years old. He did not remember much of his life before he was adopted except that the family was very, very poor and that there were a lot of people living together. He remembers going to the orphanage with his younger sister Sharon and this seemed like a big improvement to him. The Holms', who were not able to have kids of their own came to visit the orphanage one day intending to adopt one child but left there with two; my dad and Sharon who was three at the time. The Holms' were good, hardworking, honest farm people and had deep family roots. They lived on a 365 acre farm outside of La Junta and Mr. Holms' dad and mom lived on the farm too in a separate house. This is where my dad grew up. Later, the family moved into town but I'm not sure how old he was when that happened. My dad was happy with them and I asked him one time if he ever wanted to find his biological parents and he said no, that as far as he was concerned The Holms' were his parents. To this day they hold an annual "Scoville Family Reunion" on the last weekend in July complete with documentation of the events, newspaper clippings, prizes awarded for different things and presidents and treasurers to organize it all beginning in 1935. Much later, in 1983 when he was 42 years old and his parents both passed away he would do a search and find this family. Turns out that, while it was very interesting to find another family, he definitely got the better end of the deal by being raised with the parents he was adopted to. But that is another story. .As far as all of us kids went, we only knew them as our grandpa and grandma and we loved them dearly. This is a picture of my dad when he was 18 years old:
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Richard Holms 18 yrs old
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So dad was going to school in La Junta and had plans to go to college to become a large animal veterinarian when he and my mother met and it seems to be pretty much an instant attraction. But there were some problems from the beginning that I could see while reading about their courtship.
Mom was hopelessly in love with dad and always felt insecure about whether he really loved her and she was unhappy at home. Remember she's dreaming of marriage and kids and thinks dad is the greatest and that she has found 'the one'.
My dad is a young man and still likes to go hang out with the boys and drive fast cars. My dad really likes her but also feels that he is 'just a country boy' that a girl like that wouldn't be interested in and so he has insecurities about whether she really loves him.
They both are kids and do things like playing games to make the other one jealous to see if they really like them. This causes lots of problems in the beginning between them but it is clear that as time goes by they are both in love with each other and can't be apart. But dad would have been willing to wait and finish school, mom wanted to get started on a family.
My dad did continue to try to go to college. But two years later another baby was born and than a year later another baby and at this point he had to give it up and ended up working on the Rail Road as an engineer. I know this always bothered him very much. It is because of him that I went to college and stayed in it. He was encouraging and pushed me to "never quite". As a family man he provided well for our family, was a hard worker, a firm and fair disciplinarian but at times was probably too hard in his approach. He could be hard on my mother, constantly criticizing and ran a tight ship. His outings with the boys continued too at times upsetting my mother very much. But I remember him coming home and tossing us in the air when we were little. I remember him working in the yard and keeping our house up nice and he didn't allow us kids to lay around in front of the TV either, if he was working, so were we, which we weren't too happy about. Little by little over the years these criticisms and hardness though took their toll on the marriage and eventually it wore my mother down and someone else stepped in to fill that void of romance and love she so desperately needed. My mother wrote a poem about this once called "Little Hurts". It goes like this:
"Little Hurts"
Be careful of the little hurts,
the smallest of them all
can generate resentment,
that will spread from wall to wall.
Think twice before you hack away
at dignity and pride.
Remember it's the little things
that churn around inside.
Don't harbor try-fulling grudges,
they seem to have a sneaky way
of sprouting ten feet tall
if they are lived with every day.
Don't under rate a brief caress
a fleeting kiss or touch.
A gentle little touch that says;
I love you very much.
For married life at first is like
a field of virgin earth
and on each little seed you sow
depends it's future worth.
So give it tender love and care
and you will surely reap
a harvest full of memories
to cherish and to keep.
Sue Holms
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